i'm tired

i'm so tired;

tired
of
people lying;

tired
of
people not saying
what they
mean;

tired
of
people who deny
what they've
done.

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forgiven

i'll never forget
the look on your face
when you said
you miss me;

i'll never forget
how excited you got
when you said
you'll call me;

but
i'll also never forget
the way you acted
when you
gave up on us.


v

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i'm sorry

i'm sorry.
i'm sorry u had to meet me when i was young.
i'm sorry u had to meet me when i had little experience.

i'm sorry.
i'm sorry i wasn't mature enough to say the right things.
i'm sorry i wasn't mature enough to do the right things.

words cannot be unsaid;
actions cannot be undone.
i know i had hurt you, but i hope you'll forgive me.

maybe we'll meet again someday.
someday when i've gained exposure and learnt my lessons;
someday when i'll have the chance to treat u right.




v

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i'm trying.

maybe the universe know we won't be a good fit. and that's okay.

the wrong people are here to teach us lessons, mistakes to never make again;
they were in our lives to make sure we know how to treat the right people;
and they've left our lives to make room for the right ones.

the nice people always meet horribles ones until they've had enough, and figure out that being mean is what's best for them because they no longer want to get hurt;
the nice people build walls that are oh so hard to tear down;
the nice people have fronts and facades so they don't show what they're truly feeling.
because in this society we live in today, the nice people are the ones being taken advantage of.

i understand where you're coming from, but
we've got to learn to let go;
we've got to learn to live our own lives without worrying about others;
we've got to love ourselves.

because we are the only ones who won't wake up one day and decide we're not worth it;
we are the only ones who won't wake up one day and decide to not give a fuck;
we are the only ones who won't wake up one day and decide to give up on ourselves.

-

maybe one day i'll finally learn to love myself. but as of now,

i'm nothing.
i'm not good enough.
and i never will be.



v

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the healing process.

the thing is, you'll never completely heal.

you'll be okay for a whole day, a whole week, a whole year. but when you see their face or hear their name, your heart aches, and your stomach sinks. you play back all the happy memories, and you realise that you'll never have them again.

you realise that you'll never hold their hand again;
you realise that you'll never be in their embrace again.
you find yourself comparing everyone to them. and when you find similar qualities, your mind will always go back to them.

you realise that no one will ever hold a place in your heart like they do;
you realise that no one will make you as happy as they did.

laughter isn't the best medicine, and neither is time.
when you try to straighten out a crumpled piece of paper, there will be creases;
when you try to put a broken plate that you've smashed on the floor back together, there will be cracks.

because the thing is, you'll never completely heal.

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simple cravings.

craving for your touch,
your skin,
your warm body on mine.
;
craving for your hugs,
your big hand
when our fingers intertwine.
;
craving for your lips,
your dreamy eyes,
your presence, it shines.
;
I'm craving for you,
but the sad truth is
you'll never be mine.

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